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Thursday, March 31, 2011

A Working Mom Dilemma

A post on a message board about what working moms like and dislike about being working moms got me thinking this morning. The question was, "What are the top three things you love about being a working mom and what are the top three things you hate about being a working mom?" The goal was to avoid saying that missing your baby was something you hated. I personally prefer more of a like and dislike approach to the question and I came up with the following.

3 Things I Like About Being a Working Mom
1. I like having money. I will be completely honest about that. I like having money to contribute to our household expenses, saving for our future goals, and buying things for W. Lately most of my money goes towards buying things for W and it brings me joy.

2. I like that W is getting to stay home with J right now. I think it will be an incredible experience for both of them and one that will strengthen their relationship as father and son. It's an opportunity more men should get to have as I think it will also lead to a better understanding of all of the responsibilities that come with raising a child for both J and I.

3. I have enjoyed getting back into a routine that is familiar to me. Before W was born I would go to work, hit the gym on the way home, and then head home for the evening. It's nice to be back in that routine.

3 Things I Dislike About Being a Working Mom
1. I dislike waking up in the morning. With Daylight Savings Time, it's now dark when I wake up in the morning and I do much better waking up when it's starting to get light out. I also do much better letting myself wake up naturally which usually happens around 7:00 in the morning. So this is something that definitely makes me grumpy some mornings.

2. One thing that has been challenging to me is feeling like I have to be "on" as a mom from the moment I walk in the door when I get home. It isn't exactly like that as J is more than happy to give me time to get changed and unpack all of my stuff for the day. I think this is just more of my desire to hold W and take care of him after being away all day. I do make myself take the bit of time to take care of myself and put things away before taking over with W though.

3. A third in this area was actually challenging for me because I wanted to say that missing W was something I really dislike about being a working mom but in my effort to avoid that... I really dislike that the weekends seem so short. Friday evenings are wonderful because we have the whole weekend ahead of us but before I know it, Sunday is suddenly here and I'm left wondering where the weekend has gone.

Reflecting on what I like and dislike helps me put everything into perspective. I struggle with figuring out who I want to be as a mother everyday and I'm sure that will continue for the rest of my life. I know I could make the sacrifices that would allow me to stay at home with W, but I also enjoy the lifestyle that working provides for my family. The one perk of being a teacher is that summer break will be hear before I know it and I will get to spend a lot of time with W again. Of course, one of my biggest worries is childcare for him in the fall. Perhaps that time will help me figure things out a bit more.


  1. Father and son time is so important. I agree. It's nice that J has that. I'm staying at home with my kids, but I'm up for an interview soon. It's going to be interesting if and when I get this job. I've been at home for a long time! Great post, and thanks for your interest in my blog! I'm your newest follower! :D Looking forward to your next posts.

    The...Late, Young Family

  2. That is so great your husband gets to stay home with him! I went to school full time with my first DD, so I can really relate to the dislikes-another for me was that I was working so hard and not getting paid! Thanks for the follow-I'm following you back!

  3. this working mom hears you loud and clear! i am a FT pre-k teacher and PT grad student- and one still has to be a FT mommy. (I take my son to work w/me, though)

    following back from


  4. I hear you! I've been both working and at home. I really loved how clean my house always was when I was a working mama. :-)

  5. I work at home and it's hard for me to take more than 20 minutes straight to work. It's sort of here and there time for work.

    Howdy! I’m stopping in from the blog hop. I am so happy to “meet” you. I'm your newest follower. Hope you're having a great day!

  6. @Samantha Thank goodness I finished my last grad school class in December before W arrived. Now I'm just waiting to walk! You are a supermom for sure!

  7. @Gabby I agree about the father and son time. I feel like we are so blessed to have this opportunity. Good luck with your interview and I will send a prayer out for you!

  8. @Katy Not getting paid would make it much more difficult. I read about women who are working for the benefits and who use most of their paycheck for childcare. That would be so difficult!

  9. @stacey Being at home was tough for me but I think part of it was because W was a newborn. My house was a mess! Now it's the same since J is home but oh well! Time with W is the most important!

  10. @Jeannette I would love to work at home but unfortunately being a teacher calls for me to be at school! I can imagine it's hard to balance working even when you are doing it from home!

  11. I'm a SAHM but honestly I think that there are perks and cons to both. The grass is always greener...Sometimes, when my 8 mo is screaming his sweet little head off and will not nap or nurse for anything, I wish I were working! After all my babies are in grade school, I do want to FINALLY put my degree to use! Found you on smart and trendy moms follow on friday!

  12. @Kristin from our growing garden there are definitely pros and cons to both. When I was home on maternity leave, I will admit there were days I wished I was at work. They were the days when I couldn't seem to make W happy. I wish there was a part-time position for me at my school but there isn't really. I am just working through the emotions as with everything else!

  13. Hi from Tail Spin hop! I completely agree on the money thing. There's something about getting a paycheck that gives you satisfaction and frankly, gives you credibility in society. Somehow, stay at home moms don't get recognized as easily for a day's work, as the mom with the paycheck in hand. I know it's not fair, but it is what it is??

  14. Wow...this sounds pretty much like what I would have written 10 years ago. How weird that moms often have pretty much the same experience when they work outside of the home!

    Stumbled you...would love if you could stumble me back:

    Thanks for linking up!
    Kristin :)


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