A Working Mom Dilemma

A post on a message board about what working moms like and dislike about being working moms got me thinking this morning. The question was, "What are the top three things you love about being a working mom and what are the top three things you hate about being a working mom?" The goal was to avoid saying that missing your baby was something you hated. I personally prefer more of a like and dislike approach to the question and I came up with the following.

3 Things I Like About Being a Working Mom
1. I like having money. I will be completely honest about that. I like having money to contribute to our household expenses, saving for our future goals, and buying things for W. Lately most of my money goes towards buying things for W and it brings me joy.

2. I like that W is getting to stay home with J right now. I think it will be an incredible experience for both of them and one that will strengthen their relationship as father and son. It's an opportunity more men should get to have as I think it will also lead to a better understanding of all of the responsibilities that come with raising a child for both J and I.

3. I have enjoyed getting back into a routine that is familiar to me. Before W was born I would go to work, hit the gym on the way home, and then head home for the evening. It's nice to be back in that routine.


3 Things I Dislike About Being a Working Mom
1. I dislike waking up in the morning. With Daylight Savings Time, it's now dark when I wake up in the morning and I do much better waking up when it's starting to get light out. I also do much better letting myself wake up naturally which usually happens around 7:00 in the morning. So this is something that definitely makes me grumpy some mornings.

2. One thing that has been challenging to me is feeling like I have to be "on" as a mom from the moment I walk in the door when I get home. It isn't exactly like that as J is more than happy to give me time to get changed and unpack all of my stuff for the day. I think this is just more of my desire to hold W and take care of him after being away all day. I do make myself take the bit of time to take care of myself and put things away before taking over with W though.

3. A third in this area was actually challenging for me because I wanted to say that missing W was something I really dislike about being a working mom but in my effort to avoid that... I really dislike that the weekends seem so short. Friday evenings are wonderful because we have the whole weekend ahead of us but before I know it, Sunday is suddenly here and I'm left wondering where the weekend has gone.


Reflecting on what I like and dislike helps me put everything into perspective. I struggle with figuring out who I want to be as a mother everyday and I'm sure that will continue for the rest of my life. I know I could make the sacrifices that would allow me to stay at home with W, but I also enjoy the lifestyle that working provides for my family. The one perk of being a teacher is that summer break will be hear before I know it and I will get to spend a lot of time with W again. Of course, one of my biggest worries is childcare for him in the fall. Perhaps that time will help me figure things out a bit more.

My Life as a Mom

One of the goals I had this week was to get back on my gym schedule after work. Yesterday was my first day back and we had a meeting after school so by the time I got out and on my way home it was later than usual and I was exhausted. How exhausted was I? Apparently in the middle of the night I woke up and changed my pajamas. Yes, I went to bed in one pair of pajamas and woke up wearing a different pair. I don't even remember waking up. This was an unexpected development!

Today I planned to go to the gym when J got home from work, but once again I was exhausted. I don't think I was as tired as I was yesterday but I was pretty wiped out. I wonder what I will wake up wearing tomorrow morning as a result!

I'm quickly learning how challenging it will be to balance everything in my life. I know I will figure it all out with a little bit of time but it's challenging right now. To top it all off, W went to bed earlier than usual tonight. i had to put my emotional desire to hold him and put his needs ahead of mine. Oh, the life of a mother.

A day of success!

Today was my first day back at work in 15 weeks and I would put it in the successful category! I teared up some as I left the house and when I arrived at work and was walking into the building. Once I got started with the day, I was okay. The day was insanely busy so that probably helped. What also helped was the fact that my mom brought W up at lunch to visit. It was great to get to hold him in the middle of the work day. I could get used to that! My mom and J have both offered to bring him up as often as I'd like and I may take them up on the offer once a week or so. It's just a nice pick me up.

The second success of the day was the night time cloth diaper! Last night I decided to give it a go and start trying different combinations. Last night I stuffed one of our BG 3.0s with the insert, an AFFF hemp insert, and a doubler. I left for work before W was awake but my mom told me that he woke up with dry pajamas and swaddle blanket. Success! I am using the same combination tonight to see if it works again. I would feel pretty darn lucky if my first attempt was a successful combination for now.

The final success of the day was the fact that I definitely eat less/eat better when I am at work. I can only eat the food I bring with me rather than just wandering into the pantry throughout the day. Plus, I was so busy today that I didn't think about being hungry except at the times I'd planned to eat! This could definitely help with taking off the rest of the pregnancy weight! I would have headed to the gym after work except we had a faculty meeting after work so I went straight home to see W!

Everything comes to an end.

On this day 15 weeks ago, I was eating lunch at work with my friends telling them how I couldn't go too much longer before having W. Granted my due date was still 8 days away but I had woken up feeling off and the past week had been a challenge. I remember thinking when I was pregnant that I wouldn't be one of those people who said they were done being pregnant, but by 39 weeks I was pretty sure I was ready to have that baby. I was ready to meet him. Now I think about how if he had waited until his due date (or later) I would still have time with him. Although I have been blessed to have more time home with him than many working mothers.

15 weeks later, I sit here at the end of my maternity leave. My little boy is grumbling in his sleep as he gets closer to waking up for the day. They are sounds that were once so unfamiliar to me and now they are just part of my life. They are an indicator that I better have a bottle ready because when he wakes up it will be time for FOOD! I can't blame him because I'm the same way!

Although I follow his cues, we have settled into somewhat of a schedule and Monday morning will be rough on me as I begin the journey towards a new schedule. Instead of sleeping until I hear him begin to rumble around and then getting up in an effort to brush my teeth (at least!) before he wakes up, I will wake up and do my best not to wake him up. I will pump, get dressed, eat my breakfast, and head off to work without a car seat in the back. It will be a mixing of my old pre-baby life and my new life with W. It will be a challenge, but in the end it will be okay.

My family is blessed to have my mother taking care of W for a week before J takes some leave to be with him. Then my mother will watch him again during the last week of the school year before I am off for the summer. W will not be in daycare until the fall and I pray that God leads me to the right person to care for him at that point.

What I will miss most are the morning cuddles and grins. What I will not miss most is the afternoon crankiness. It helps to think about that sometimes! In all seriousness though, today through Monday will be some of the toughest moments of my life but I will make it through. I am strong and I will be okay. I will just learn to cherish all of the moments I have with my son while being able to provide for him and grow in other areas of my life.

Being a mother is hard work.